Sunday, March 14
The end is near.
Ending my blog days soon. Not wanting to share no more.
Aggie at 3/14/2004 12:07:00 PM

Wednesday, March 3
love for films
Did i ever mention how much I love going to the movies? My only escapade from the harsh realities; where anything and everything is made possible. Where you want anything and everything to come true, u have it. In the films. My sole indulgance since young.

I just watched Scent of a woman again. God knows how many times I caught it. Never got sick of it ever. The allure of Al pacino, the innocence of Chris O Donnell, the tango scene ("tango is like life.Is simple. When u get tangled, tango on."), the ferrari scene (how he conned the police chap who din know he is blind.) and I can go on... The movie is of great beauty. The harsh tone protrayed by Al; and Chris balanced it with his softness, sincerity and what he liked to call it, his conscience. The movie is a sheer win oscar. Nominated but din win. I recommend it strongly. Must watch. It always leaves me a vulnerable and all good feeling. *grinz* The ending speech given by Al at the school was just so powerful. I think it applies everywhere even till now. Where the bad gets away and the good gets punished; just so someone feels so. I am sure many can relate to that somehow or rather in their lives. Be it in school, at work, in life, generally. I am floating with the allure of the film. Laffs. Pardon me. Al is just so smooth; his words, his manners, his style and just everything about him. I may really need an older man for a lover. Assuring and knows how to treat a woman like the way it should be.

status
Previous entry? Where I left off.... Singlehood is here to stay. As much as I like JL, he is someone who does not have the above 2 factors I just mentioned. He does make me happy, sometimes. He does hurt sometimes, unknowingly, but still does. My intentions are made known. Clarification of my behaviour is made. Well, what happens eventually, I dun even dare to think. He is not a fucktwit, but he is just behaving like men of his age. Uncertain, loves attention, and well, just being young and wanting to have fun. Can I blame him? No. And this is as much as I wanna talk about him in my blog. Unless there's more significant things to be added. =)

I am off. In the silent mode again. =)

PS: Check out my latest friendster testimonial. From someone who tried stealing someone I like before. Interesting.


Aggie at 3/03/2004 12:05:00 AM

Wednesday, February 25
I need to remind myself yet again that I need to take things with a pinch of salt.
Aggie at 2/25/2004 11:13:00 PM

Friday, February 20
sick
Oh yes. I am sick! HORRAY! Laffs. Never seen someone so delighted about being sick eh? On the record, I have not been sick for the longest time, I swear. I dun count, hives, weird dumb allergies or the slightest migraine as sickness. This time I am truly sick. Flu. Or as most like it, running nose. I think I got a cold from the weekends of rendevous trip to sentosa in my skimpy bikini. Lying partial not dressed, with cloudy skies and windy climate. Yup, ur best stunt to get sick leave after a good tiring weekends off. Dun tell ur boss I tipped u on this. =P Of cos, the whole idea of having to run for tissue when the nose just cant stop flowing mucous is probably disgusting. But hell, the whole being high on flu drugs are just woohoo...Party! *zouk rhythm 1 disc 2 playing at the background.* Estactic manz! *do the diva's dance moves* Bite me! I am happy as hell about being sick. It's been so long. Laffs. Discarding oranges, redoxon? Nah. Hehe. Got to love the body. Cant abuse. hehe.

reliance
As much as I like being sick, but the idea of being sick and having no one to pamper sucks. I kinda of wanna the tot of having someone to give me medicine, tuck me into bed and well, just rely on someone to take care of me for a day. Like what I do at work most times. But hell, no one. Even if I will wanna to tell that someone I like of current, I cant. No status. Plus, he is busy with assignments. Ahhh... Ol well. Never mind. Shall make myself higher on flu drugs. Laffs.

Frustrations
Wad else? Holding that blardy ball still in my court. To dump or serve it? Then again, that's not the issue. The issue here is do I wanna serve my ball on safe grounds. That chap.. . got to give him a name. If not, the readers will think I got many chaps. (like real sia. Me no Miss popular or hot babe.) Hmmz.. JL... Just lame? Laffs. OK ok. I like him. Can't make fun of him. Is gonna be JL. His chinese initials. His chinese name kinda of rock. Laffs. Anyway, he is confusing me. His shakespearish words are driving me up the wall. I swear.
Me: What are moments to you.
JL: Ur moments are my eternities. *falls off the chair.*
Tell me the best way to end my life in the least bit of pain. I will do it. Drive me nuts. Another example.
Me: Just where is this heading to?
JL: We head where time pulls us to given the willing will. Know me as I know you. *covers face with pillow, hoping to die from suffocation* AHHHHHHH!
Cryptic? I dunno manz. I am going mad. How to serve the ball? I dun even know how. I think when I do serve it and if it does get back. I am gonna be smacked on the face real hard not knowing it's coming back. This is not lost. This is sheer confusion. Is hot cold POW training.

On another note, like he said it. He had stated his thoughts on his matter. I am important, missed. It had been countless times he had mentioned how good it was to hear me on the phone. *thinks* I think I should join DJ-ing. Laffs. Like I believe, it's just words? I dunno. But yet, he had made efforts to call and check on me for the past 2 weeks. To me, is surprising that he did. Not an expected behaviour from him, honestly. No expectations. Hmmz.. Something new on my part.

Everything just surprises me of recent. Like how he questioned about how come I am so hard on myself. That was a sad statement to make and worse upon hearing it. The thing that surprise me was my reply. I din reply him directly on that matter. But the issue about this whole thing is, why should this even be his problem. As much as this is pertaining to him, but I have not opened to him about this. My belief: As long as the problem is not known to you, why should u even be vexing in the 1st place? Nothing better to do? I just felt I want to handle this whole issue of having faith and to even believe about this before I opened up. Is all about faith isnt. it? To believe he is nice to me for just the simplest reason, he likes me and well, that I, maybe, really that important to him, perhaps.

Will my singlehood moves on to higher levels of confusion? Or will it all end, soon? Stay tune for more, folks. Laffs. Ahhh.. Ol well.
Aggie at 2/20/2004 07:42:00 PM

Thursday, February 19
lost
Had a talk with Bing the other day on the phone. Short conversation. Caused me to sleep only a few hours before I left for work again in the morning. Yea... That chap took a breather from his acclaimed abusive girlfriend. Sounded upset, drunk and like he said, lost. It dawned on me that being lost after a break up is dumb. Why lost? The move to rely on someone just because you are in a relationship is almost like madness. As much as the irony here was I did feel, you can say, lost when I got out with mark. But I din think it was that lost. I know what I was getting myself out of. I know I was making the right move. So... To feel lost, is absurb. Everyone is on their own. There's no such thing as I am there for you or something along that line. Yes, friends, family can be supportive, can be "there for you." At the end of it, you are there for your ownself. Get it? In life, death, choices, you are on your own. Lost? Dun even indulge in that ideology of being lost. U just fall deeper into like a trance. In another words, wallow in self pity. Dun waste time. Move on.

Moment
Watched my best friend before? In the movie, there was this part when they said, sometimes when you dun do something, the moment just passes you by. *weak smile* The moment just passes you by......
Aggie at 2/19/2004 01:08:00 AM